I love tent camping. I’ve been sleeping under the stars for many years now. Of course, I’m a bit older than I was when my friends and I first headed to the woods for a weekend getaway. I’ve graduated from a small tent and sleeping pad to a spacious “residence” with a comfortable blowup mattress. Self-inflating, of course…. But I still bring along my sleeping pad as backup should my comfy mattress spring a leak. Maybe you’re familiar with sleeping pads. All you do is loosen the valve cap and lay the bundle in direct sunlight. Under the radiance of the sun, the pad slowly and steadily unrolls as it expands with air. In a very short time, this camping essential becomes its designed size, shape, and firmness. Tighten the valve cap, and you have a piece of equipment ready to fulfill its intended function.
We’re a little like the sleeping pad, aren’t we? In God’s presence, we gradually unfold and expand. We take up more of the space He created us to occupy. God right-sizes us! Our ever-changing shape and size is part of our experience of transformation. As we and Jesus do life together in more and more places of our hearts, we become more fully the men He designed us to be. Over time, the Psalmist’s words articulate our interior life and our life in the world so well: “The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places (Psalm 16:6).”
However, unlike the sleeping pad, we don’t completely live into our design in this life. The fall of man and its consequences have taken their toll. On this side of eternity, we can’t go from total depravity to perfection. We can never say, in the most comprehensive sense, “I am exactly the man God created me to be.” If you want a highly pressurized life and, paradoxically, to be a very boring man, give perfection a go! But I suspect you haven’t come this far in our journey together with idealism in mind.
Fortunately, we don’t have to “arrive” in any particular area of our hearts to experience so much more life—to be bigger, deeper, more consolidated, sturdier, at peace and loving well. We just have to become closer approximations to God’s unique design for us. There is much to be gained in the approximation! Let’s look again at anger, for example. While we might find complete healing of the pain that fuels our anger, chances are that our healing will be “substantive” rather than perfect. But the impact of healing on our lives and relationships can be dramatic. We may still get angry at times, but it will take so much more to trigger an aggressive response. And the retort will not be nearly as big and raw as it once was. We will feel more at ease and freer. And those around us will, too!
I’ll take “dramatic” change any day. And in some areas of my character, I have experienced substantive and life-changing growth. I am reasonably self-aware, so I have no trouble seeing how imperfect I am. And I have no lack of problems. At the same time, I am living a life that I could not have imagined years ago. As I have healed, unfolded and expanded with Jesus, I’ve been surprised over and over again in two fundamental ways. One, I have become (and continue to become) a man with interests, passions, and talents that I was completely unaware of. And, two, the fruit of the Spirit—love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control—just grows! Of course, having more fruit in our lives dramatically changes our experience of life and our influence on those around us. Bottom line: life with Jesus is adventure. As we invite Him to live with us in more places of our hearts and follow His lead, we never know how our path will open before us or who we will become.
I hope this view of growth brings realistic perspective and vents some of the pressure you might feel, while bolstering hope and intentional openness to God. He will care well for you. Always.
Prayer Project
Please take some time to sit in a quiet place where you won’t be distracted for at least 30 minutes. Then, ask God and ask yourself the questions below. If you can, write down your answers in a notebook that you might keep for this journey we’re taking together. No right answers here—just be as honest as you can.
- God, how do I feel about the likelihood of “substantive” change rather than perfect healing and growth? Am I relieved? Encouraged? Frustrated? Do I feel myself pushing back on the idea?
- If I am uncomfortable with this perspective of transformation, what bothers me about it? How do you see my concerns, Lord?
- God, I guess I don’t have to completely agree with this view of outcomes to give myself to the process. Help me continue to lean in and invite you to be with me wherever you want to go.
Thank you for caring so well for me, Lord.